What a bittersweet story Kristin. So glad that the ending is a happy one.

I have been waiting 9 years for a female version of “Steve” to come into my life too.

Someone kind and patient. Someone who wants me in her life as something more than just a friend. Someone who believes I am worth waiting for. Someone with whom to make new memories.

Sadly I have concluded she’s not coming. At 70, I think I am just not destined to start a new relationship.

Plus, my ex was pretty damn amazing. Not perfect. She had her many issues. But she was perfect for me.

I was like you: the dumpee. I didn’t want it to end. But I can now see that I probably pushed her away too.

I made some bad choices along the way. But getting involved with her was never one of them.

I was hoping for the first two years after the e-mail breakup she’d have a change of heart or miss me or at least show some concern or awareness wondering if I was still alive. Alas not.

Was the breakup any better or easier face to face at Cheesecake Factory?

The fantasy of a reunion is still there, stewing. The reality is she has me blocked on all social media. We were together six years, lived together for 5 of those years.

Today I am just someone she used to know. I mean nothing to her. The opposite of love is not hate but indifference.

She is 14 years younger. I used to joke and say “I want you to mourn me when I’m gone”. Now she won’t even know when I’m gone. Or care.

The message or call I was praying for never came. E-mails went unanswered. Packages and letters returned “Addressee unknown”. I finally gave up, totally defeated. No Hollywood ending.

She has a new partner now. Older guy like me. I have only seen one picture of the two of them. Not easy to find either. But I knew where to look.

They do look happy together. Own two small but fabulous penthouse homes in two of the greatest cities in Europe. She no longer wears the fancy watch I gave her for her birthday. (Or maybe she just got a new band? Hard to tell from the photo). But I know she hasn’t married him.

I go back and look at photos of us as a couple. She was happy back then too. I loved taking pictures of her. There are ten of her for every one of me.

Comparing the picture of them from now with us back then I wonder if she is happier with him than she ever was with me? Was she only in love with my unrealized potential?

The circumstances of our meeting were so bizarre and unlikely I came to belive the hand of God was involved in bringing us together.

But God couldn’t keep us together. I had to do that and I failed, making so many regrettably bad decisions along the way.

In Big Yellow Taxi, Joni Mitchell famously sang this lyric:

“Don’t it always seem to go?

That you don’t know what you got ‘til its gone”

So true.