Thanks for your story. I too never understood how someone who claimed to love me could break up with me and then never have any contact with me again.

I spent 6 years with this person. Obviously I cared about her. She never stayed in relationships beyond the honeymoon phase. Big red flag!

She was 42 when we met in 2004. She had never been married. Another big red flag! I doubt even now at 58, she ever committed to another human being.

As part of creating my own closure, I had to understand what happened. From a lot of reading, I discovered I had been dating a charming narcissist. Narcissists feel no empathy.

I had no option but to forgive her. Not for her, she doesn't know or care. I forgave her for me. I accepted that her narcissism was not a choice, it was a result of childhood trauma.

Forgiving myself was harder. Because I had to take responsibility for all the things I did to push her away because I was hurting and feeling very unloved.

It still makes me sad to know that if I was laying in a hospice bed, terminal, and my dying wish was to see her one last time and apologize, she wouldn't show up even if I was paying for the trip.

Narcissists feel no nostalgia either. I am not a pleasant or unpleasant memory. I do not exist for her. I am just someone she used to know. Nothing more.