Oh, yes. So true on the rules.

She stole my laptop, iPhone and all my credit cards. She had been in my house at least ten times. Dinner, Netflix and Chill.

If you are going to engage in casual sex best to invest in some hidden cameras that look like USB charging cubes. I just ordered one for every room.

Had I installed one, I would have had some evidence to send her to prison. But I am sure she fenced the stuff for cash right away. So her word against mine should the cops pay her a visit.

Have to give her credit. She has a brilliant MO. Build trust, never take anything. Then strike like the snake she is. $5,000 for bad sex. Never saw it coming.

And thanks to Apple, if the thief has your 6 digit unlock code, they can change your AppleID password easily from Settings, then shut off Find My Phone.

She got mine when she picked up my phone during dinner to change the music or look something up. We’d had a few drinks. So when she casually asked “Hey, what’s your code?” I told her. Set different codes on each device you own. I didn’t.

I had to wait 30 days before Apple would let me back into my own account. And while you are waiting no app on your iPhone will work. Only phone calls, the camera, and Safari.

I know her personal information but going to the police is useless since she can admit to being in my apartment many times. She cooked dinner and used that as an opportunity to drug me so I was sedated the whole time.

She used some of the money for a nice vacation at the beach a few days after the robbery. The pictures are on her Instagram feed. Wish I knew who took them.

If she will steal from me, she knows people that would hurt or kill me if I outed her as a thief. My friends say I was lucky I wasn’t killed.

And yes, I enjoyed eating her to orgasm. But she was as selfish in the bed as she was out of it.

Be careful who you trust. A hard and expensive lesson to learn. Lock up your valuables out of sight when having guests over. Every time. Buy an old, used iPad that you won’t mind losing and use that for Netflix.

Be careful even if you have an ongoing FWB relationship. Someone with no emotional investment might be like my so-called and now former friend and setting you up for a very unpleasant surprise.

For a visual lesson, watch “Looking For Mr. Goodbar” the movie that made Diane Keaton and Richard Gere famous.