Maggie:

Beautiful essay. I was touched.

I am like your ex boyfriend that cheated but cannot forget you.

Bless you for taking his call on your birthday and not being angry that he gets some relief just seeing you from a distance. The curse of shoulda, coulda, woulda is real.

In my cries for her attention, I did a very few things that hurt her. But it was enough and too much. And so she left.

My ex said I didn’t know how to be present. That I lived life in regret of the past and fear of the future.

She knew me so well. Next year will be ten years apart and no contact. 4 more years apart than the total time we were together.

I miss her every day. She is “the one”.

Thanks for giving me via your essay some insight into how she might be feeling now.