Loved this essay. If I had a partner, I could afford to move back to Europe, where I lived for 2 years, ten years ago. Still have friends in Europe, and English is widely spoken.

I just turned 72. I had to leave my city of birth, San Francisco, in 2018 because my 1 bedroom apartment, sans dishwasher, disposal, and old enough to still have metal kitchen cabinets from the 50's, was costing $3,000 a month all in. I was drawing down my 401(k) and still living frugally. Travel was a luxury I couldn't afford.

Age 40 is considered too old to be hired in the go-go high tech city by the bay. 70? Forget about it. Sell RE or Cars, commission only, working nights and weekends. No thanks. Or drive for Uber and let the depreciation eat up my profits.

I moved to South America, where it is easy to live on just my social security. But I still am not fluent in Spanish. Finally, I had the time and money to travel, and did. Until the damn plague.

With my remaining time on this earthly plane so limited, losing a year and a half to self quarantine due to the pandemic sucks. Not moving and walking as much, my body is aging, and I'm feeling lots of little physical annoyances.

I live in the biggest bedroom in a shared house with 5 other people. I have my own bathroom, and my room is my sanctuary. But hard to make do with only one shelf in the refrigerator.

I was in a relationship for 6 years. She was 14 years younger and my soul mate. Or so I thought at the time.

Been single now for 10 years. I don't date, too much work, trying to be witty and charming online so she'll at least get curious enough to want to engage in an online conversation. Knowing she gets hundreds of messages a week from other guys. I'm sure she thinks why should she choose me when there might be another one better out there. A first date? Haven't had one of those in years.

I miss being in a relationship. I used to be afraid of living alone. Got that one handled. Now the thought that I will probably die alone is frightening. I can take care of myself now, but who knows for how much longer?

The breakup has been good in that I was able to deal with my fear of being alone. Lots of time to read, learn and consider what happened that ended what I thought would be a forever situation.

I met the ex on a fluke. Not online. Not at work. Not through friends. Instant mutual attraction. Lots of shared interests.

Maybe lightning strikes twice in one lifetime? What's the saying? "Hope springs eternal"