I am addicted to my ex
It has been 9 years since she broke up with me via e-mail. We were together for 6. Lived together for 5. Seems like yesterday we were a couple, with a future. Together.
I am addicted to my ex. She lives 8,000 miles away but I know her address. Maybe I should send her some of her favorite white lilies without a card?
Note to self: You are not supposed to know her address. It will only upset her to know you know where she lives.
How many times have I fantasized about hopping a plane and ringing her doorbell, thinking all has been forgiven and she’d be happy to see me after all these years?
Note to self: She wouldn’t be happy. She’d be angry. Boundaries and all. She told me 9 years ago to forget her and never contact her again.
But did she mean it? Does that really mean never? Maybe she was just really angry at the time? Maybe she hasn’t met anyone either? They say time heals all wounds. Or maybe she met a much better man and married him?
The thought of dying and never saying goodbye and I’m sorry eats away at my soul.
Note to self: She has an amazing life because you are not in it. Forget she exists. She is just someone you used to know.
The days we were together were the happiest time of my entire life. Mostly. We loved all the…