Good article. You wanted the divorce and you got what you wanted.

Now I don’t know about your specific situation and your ex. Maybe he was abusive, violent, addicted, angry, silent, lazy or the worst narcissist imaginable. If so, you are right to take care of yourself and forget about him.

But what if it was none of those things? What if he didn’t want the divorce at all but you gave him no choice? No vote. You decided you were done.

Now I am not suggesting this is true in your case but in some cases the one who leaves unilaterally, leaves a broken hearted human being behind.

Someone who will never open up to anyone new for fear of being “dumped” yet again.

Someone who misses you enormously while you’ve gone no contact and found someone new.

My point is relationships are tough. They go through ups and downs. Sex, children, money, careers, hobbies. There is always something to fight about. If you choose to.

Now I don’t know enough to know if your relationship was salvagable. Probabably not. But I think mine was.

I never had a clue how unhappy my partner was until it was too late for me to do anything about it.

So I can imagine her writing an essay something like yours with not a word of the emotional damage she left in her wake. She left a huge hole in my heart.

The late, great Marty Balin said it best in his song “Hearts”:

Miles away I really can’t believe I’m here

And how I still care about you

Hearts can break and never mend together

Love can fade away

Hearts could cry when love won’t stay forever

Hearts can be that way.

Saddest song ever…