Congratulations on your nuptials. That is a beautiful story. Enjoy your wedding. I hear it happens in a flash, so slow down and enjoy it so you can savor the memories.

I have heard that leaving a disposable camera on every table will leave you with amazing photographs the hired photographer missed.

I believe there was a study done of successful long term marriages. Almost always there was some issue or argument or behavior where one or the other partner seriously contemplated ending the relationship.

These couples almost universally said they were happy they did not break up but stuck with the relationship. (This of course doesn’t apply to partners that are violent or addicted)

The most beautiful three words in a relationship are not “I love you” but “Let’s try again”’

You are so right about treating friends better than we treat our partners.

We’re afraid to speak our truth to our partner lest they get angry, defensive or even leave us.

But we can tell our friends everything, perhaps because they’re not in the thick of it.

A lesson partners need to learn is feelings and emotions are like waves in the ocean. They crash when they hit the shore and dissapate. They come and they go.

So learning how to communicate feelings appropriatly from an “I” space is critical.

“I am feeling unloved” is not an accusation or an observation. It’s a feeling and hearing feelings from your partner must include not taking what you hear personally. It is just an opportunity to listen.

“I hate picking up dirty clothes laying around the house. I would be happier if they were always put in the basket” sure beats “You’re such a slob. Why can’t you remember to put your dirty clothes in the basket. All I am is a maid. You don’t care about me at all”.

Treat your partner like the precious jewel they are. They are a gift from God. Only if you treasure them will you get to keep them. Otherwise they will slip through your fingers and be lost maybe forever.

Remember the things you fight about are never the real issue. It is always something else, often deeper.

It is impossible to have your ears and your mouth open at the same time.

Words from the great Joni Mitchell:

“Don’t it always seem to go?

That you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til its gone!”

I owe my ex an apology, face to face. I hope some day she will let me make amends.

We for sure did not know how to communicate effectively. Sadly there are no instant replays in life.