After reading and responding to your previously essay on breakups, I was left smiling after reading your latest about the new man in your life. And you didn’t find him online or in a bar but instead at your dining table in your own home, while wearing your P.J.’s and no makeup.

I met my ex at an anti-George Bush rally held in a gay bar in San Francisco. We only made it 6 years together before she threw in the towel. It has been 8 years of no contact. Sometimes I think about trying to contact her, but then remind myself she was the one who chose to give up and leave. She doesn’t deserve my time or thoughts. As good as she was (and she was very, very good in so many ways) I do deserve better. But I admit I am still working hard to be the man she thought I was or could be.

You are young and have a lot to look forward to. A family, building a home together, growing in your career, traveling together, sharing the joys and sorrows of life together. Love, real love, is the one thing money can’t buy. And it looks as if you have found it, because you can provide countless reasons why you love this man. I can admit I’m a little jealous.

And it looks like you found the secrets to a solid relationship. Some of the ones I learned from my own mistakes were to never, ever lie to your partner. Admit your mistakes, easily and often. Share your fears and vulnerabilities. Never go to bed angry or with something important left unsaid. Learn your partners “love language” so you can speak to him in a language he understands.

It’s the little things that make the biggest difference. A text in the middle of the day. A kiss shared while pushing the shopping cart together in the market. A Post It slipped into his suitcase before a solo business trip, expressing your love and how much you will miss him while he is away.

Try not to say “no” to your partner’s requests too often. (I learned that one the hard way too, when my ex asked me to walk with her on the beach and I said no because I hated getting sand in my shoes. How petty and dumb was that?)

I wish you both a wonderful life together. A relationship is like a bank account. Keep making deposits for the day you might need to take a withdrawal.

The job of keeping your love alive is never finished. Your relationship is always a work in progress. You might have to remodel but never burn down the house by turning off the fire and leaving the gas on. One spark is all it will take for everything to explode.

I just turned 70. I have been single and without a romantic relationship for 8 years. I am not complaining. I am used to living alone. My biggest fear is dying alone. Most of my closest friends are women. Strictly platonic but I cherish them all in my life.

I have stopped trying to figure out why I am always the friend and never the lover, but I have concluded that none of these wonderful and beautiful friends would be suitable life partners anyway. Most are too young to start a shared life with a energetic septuagenarian.

I do miss being a sexagenarian though. And I miss kissing more than anything.

Have fun, chose to be happy (it is a choice). And keep writing, because you are so talented in conveying human emotion.

I’m off to London and Northern England for Christmas & New Years, spending a week with the family of one of my “girlfriends”.

Wishing you and your loved ones a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Congratulations again and thanks for sharing your happiness with the world!